Anxiety once imprisoned me in a conventional job, blocking me from pursuing anything beyond its confines. Fear of public exposure, dread of intimacy, and a carefully crafted social media persona were my constant companions. My deepest emotions stayed locked in a journal on my nightstand. I felt ashamed of who I had become – someone plagued by a racing heart, ringing ears, and an inner voice labeling me a failure, discouraging ambitious goals. I felt destined to stay small.
Then, a plot twist came – the world halted during the pandemic. This pause forced me to reflect on my actions and choices. I realized I was sabotaging myself with self-doubt, unable to envision success. The desire for transformation burned within me. I wanted to reveal my true self and prove that I could overcome anxiety and my past. However, part of me loved the lockdown, allowing me to hide indoors. Still, it opened my eyes to the need to confront my anxiety.
Professionally, an opportunity arose in HR, a calling I didn't know I needed. I had experience in HR and loved helping others. I discovered a love for travel despite anxiety. Meticulous planning and staying close to the main event made it manageable. Surprisingly, I began approaching strangers and networking, something I once deemed impossible. Joining the local SHRM chapter board was transformative.
On a personal level, I set audacious goals, returned to school in my late thirties, and ventured outside my comfort zone. I established connections, shared my life with others, and pursued activities I once avoided due to anxiety.
Here are some strategies that helped me on my journey:
1. Professionally, I sought mentorship from those who understood how I wanted to learn and grow and needed those resources, tools, training, and volunteerism to be better at my job.
2. Personally, I embraced authenticity and vulnerability, letting go of what others thought of me. That was huge.
3. Professionally, I took on challenges and welcomed feedback, persevering through obstacles. I set forth to do the roles that stretch me in all avenues.
4. Personally, I encouraged my children to explore new experiences, transforming them into thriving individuals. Knowing my anxiety was trapping me, it was trapping them as well. They hard no a lot, but now they hear more let's try it out and see if we like it.
5. Professionally, I set and pursued annual goals relentlessly, conquering testing anxiety and achieving success. Failing a test used to be a sign that I was not knowledgeable and I should just panic and give up. But I would change my study habits, and be open to mentors and others that I needed to shift my perspective to pass these tests. And I passed and passed well.
6. Personally, returning to college in my late thirties became a profound goal for career and personal growth. I had always wanted to get a degree, and not have anything stop me. I am almost done, and it has been the greatest experience for me to help in every area of my life. I am more than my past, I can do the hard things.
Every day remains a battle against anxiety, but I focus on deep breathing and stretching my limits while helping others. My personal growth has translated into professional success, proving that it's all connected and worth it.
"Change only happens when you get angry enough." I got angry at anxiety and myself, saying "Enough." Boom, change.
I hope these tools that transformed my life inspire and empower you. They continue to guide me as I learn from anxiety and life experiences. Overcoming disorders like anxiety, depression, or mental illness doesn't define who you are. It simply requires a different approach to life.
Warmly,
Mel
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